Art of loving
The author raises the question about what is love? And the paucity of love being an art? If it is indeed an art what is the key ingredient that is required for it to look beautiful, feel fresh, and could inspire. People are looking and wanting to feel the love or as described by the author as that of being loved, rather than loving. We develop pleasant manners to be lovable, among others. Considering love as an object is considered as a problem. The institution of marriage is hard proof of the objectification of love. The contemporary culture has delineated the concept of love by mostly just to relationships. Another assumption that is demarked by the author about love is the ignorance of people to learn about love. We just presume that love is falling in it which is the initial experience and the permanent being in love is called standing in love. The attitude that nothing is easier than to love, however, evidence of the contrary is overwhelming. Therefore, people generally fail through it- and the only way to overcome the failure of love to become aware that love is an art, and just living the art if you love it. To master the art, one has to consider it as the most important than any art.
We all humans emerged from the animal kingdom, and in the animal, kingdom love is considered to be instinctual equipment. However, humans possess only a part of this equipment. Here the author states the issue of human isolation which Is directly contrary to the innate nature of unity with others. Behavior that is attached to the desirability of unity is the Dominance of submission to others. In this way, people try to get out of isolation. Other interhuman fusions are inherent and natural- Symbiotic union has its biological pattern in the relationship between the pregnant mother and the fetus. They are two but one. They both needs each other. Masochism is a type of passive symbiotic union, in which one submits to another in terms of their decisions, sexual desires, religious context, etc. the active form of symbiotic union is dominating character, commands, exploits, hurts a masochistic person. Symbiotic love corresponds to motherly love. Mother's love is unconditional, as such from the time of the fetus to the end she is the one person who has the most part to play in the development. the unconditional love corresponds to one of the deepest longings, not only of the child but of every human being. There is always a difference between the relationship we share with my mother and my father. It was natural for me to go for my father in case I of specific advice and need to on daily life, however, the pain, happiness, and other emotions are delegated by my subconscious brain to my mother. We all have few traits that belong to our parents, and in my case, my empathetic trait is from my mothers, and the physical trait is exactly like my father. why is motherly love is important in each living being’s life, the innate relationship which is between mother and child is to nature the new life that she natured for a period inside. Mother unknowingly gives everything she must get the life to survive on the surface. Therefore the motherly trait is important for every human being to be able to understand love and practice love.
The author described brotherly love as love towards the world. Is a sense of responsibility, care, respect, knowledge for any other human being. I perceived brotherly love is universal love to fellow humans and animal species and the environment, to further the love to all. I believe we all feel an extraordinary amount of brotherly love because in my case my love for my equals, love towards the poor is manifesting into my action to come and work with them.
Contrary to brotherly love and Motherly love, which is to include all, Erotic love is exclusive love and not universal. It is mentioned by the author that erotic love is a self-induced fusion of love to overcome separateness in life. The author considered sexual desire as a physical appetite. Sexual desire might not be an outcome of Love, it could be the output of anxiety of aloneness, wish to be conquered, or to conquer. I am wondering when we consider a heinous crime such as Rape, it is considered as a disease, then the alone is also a disease which can not be treated by another person.
To feel the gap of aloneness we consider the instant level rising hormonal activity as love. Which is not. We also consider love as a feeling but feeling and temporary. So, love cannot be temporary, it is a decision, it is a judgment, it is a promise, therefore love must be permanent. The author wants to convey the massage erotic Love is that is relationship is an act of will, while the dissolution of a relationship is also erroneous even though you have a will.
I have always felt as a self-lover, and I consider it as people who know how to love own self knows how to love others. It is clear from the chapter that self-love is not selfish. I believe because of self-love I want to help people who need any help. This is also to complete my own appetite for doing something good for people.
When we are in the anxiety about being left alone, fear; we want love from someone or something. Love for God is the belongingness to an idea that is universal for the person who believes in it. God was considered as the undefined forces of nature in the early civilization. In the Harrapan civilization, people worshiped Nature, rain, sun, wind, and other forces of nature. So that is why when people are lonely and feeling low we all connect to the undefined forces like water, sky, air.
